The World's Meanest Mother

With my second child on its way this newspaper clipping given to me by my mother will certainly come in handy. Taken from a newspaper dated 1982, my mother recalls sitting down and reading it before she went to bed in the evenings. I might just follow suit. I have retyped it for easy reading.

The World's Meanest Mother

As a child I had the meanest mother in the whole world. She was really mean; when other kids had lollies for breakfast, she made me eat cornflakes, eggs and toast. When others had soft drinks and lollies for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich.

My mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang! She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing. She insisted that if we said we'd be gone for an hour, that we'd be gone for one hour or less! She was really mean.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but she actually had the nerve to break the child labour law. She made us work! We had to wash all the dishes....make all the beds....learn to cook, and all sorts of cruel things. I reckon she used to lie awake awake each night, thinking up mean things for us to do.

She always insisted on telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she was much worse and our life became even more unbearable.

None of this tooting the horn of the car for us to go to meet friends. She embarrassed us immensley by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. I forgot to tell you....while my friends were dating at the mature age of twelve and thirteen, my old-fashioned mother refused to let me date until I was sixteen.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. None of us have even been arrested, or fired from a job or had our charater questioned.......and who do we have to blame for this terrible way we've turned out? You're right.... our mean mother!

Look at all the things we missed. We didn't even take part in a riotous demonstration, get chased by the police or do the million and one things that our friends did. She made us grow into God-fearing, educated, honest adults!

Using this as a yardstick, I am trying to raise my children so I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me "mean". You see, I thank God he gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

Author Unknown